Hmm. My beastmen are missing. I have only a few, sad, half-painted guys left in a cardboard box. Where the rest have gone, I cannot say. Perhaps they are out raiding a village. Maybe they’re engaging in a massive fight with another tribe of beastmen. Maybe they’re munching freshly-slaughtered cows. Perhaps they’re just sitting calmly in a box behind the bookshelf, gathering dust.

If they stop by your house, please let me know.

They may be carrying my car key, which I have also misplaced. Send that back home with them, please.

(This is why I am not allowed to have nice things.)