I was at Michael’s picking up scrapbooking glue for paper models and small ribbon roses to put on top of the maypole model I was making when I ran across Farm Toob. As I noted in a previous post, my players have a tendency to gravitate towards animals. I wouldn’t quite call them animal lovers, mind you–it’s not like the druid goes up and communes with the otter and finds out that the Great Oak in the forest is sad and needs a hug, because for God’s sake, this is Warhammer. Usually they’re getting attacked by animals or attacking animals.

You can imagine my delight, then, when a rack of tubes of small plastic animals presented itself at the end of an aisle filled with DIY wedding crap. (I’m not sure about the logic of this placement. Why you would need small plastic tiger toys to complete your wedding decor? Do you glue them to the top of those stupid bottles of bubbles for a festive safari look? I’m not much for weddings, so I wouldn’t know.) I grabbed one labeled Farm Toob and shouted, “Look! FARM ANIMALS!” to my husband, causing a mother whose child was perusing the stacks of animal toys to grab him and shuffle him off down the aisle.

It says 3+. I'm not sure I should have it.

You’ll be pleased to know that there are all sorts of Toobs out there; some contain zoo animals, others safari critters, and still others sea creatures. You can even get a Galapagos Toob if your PCs plan to roleplay getting BAs in Biology. The “large” Toob animals are roughly the right size for regular gaming minis, so the bulls and cows and sheep won’t look strange next to your PC minis. For some bizarre reason, though, the smaller animals are the same size as the bigger ones, so you’ll want to make sure that you place the geese or mice far away from other minis if you use them and make sure that the smartass player at your table who will say, “That sure is a big goose! I wonder if he’s a Goose of Khorne!” is otherwise occupied when you move the critters about. Apparently the designer had some kind of spatial reasoning impairment. (Or there’s some kind of choking hazard to appropriately-sized geese.)

Apparently the designer spent most of his time in the city as a kid.

As a quick fix for marking animals on your battlemap, though, these work pretty well, and since they’re prepainted, you won’t have to spend time prepping them.

And also, for no reason that I can fathom, many of them are anatomically correct. I’ll let you think about that one on your own.